Category Archives: Uncategorized

Disney Ball

The NBA is talking about using Disney to play the remaining games from the 2019-20 season.

Weird.

The world is now very weird… not sure it’ll ever be not weird again.

Probably never was not weird. Probably always has been weird.

But one day it’ll seem normal-ish again…

I bet Lakers win the title this year.

Just to make it weirder…

Injury / Hold Out

If a player is injured they should only earn 1/4 of their regular salary.

If a player wants all of their salary, despite being unable to play, they should have to file for a catastrophic injury.

If a player files for a catastrophic injury they should recieve 100% of their remaining contract.

However… that player can not play that sport in that league ever again.

So if you’re injured and you’re gonna get better… you recieve 1/4 pay while you wait.

If you’re injured and you’re not gonna get better… you get it all… but you can’t come back, if you somehow get better.

– – –

If a player is not injured, but refuses to play… a Hold Out… that player should not recieve payment.

That player should also be required to pay their team 3/4 of their regular pay for as long as they are unwilling to play.

So if they Hold Out, they don’t just lose money they would’ve made, they have to pay back money they already have.

The Mood

He felt it, they all did.

“You think maybe we can get some music?” he asked the hostess.

“Sorry. No.”

“It’s sorta dead in here. I mean, are there any other customers?”

“Not this evening.”

She was wearing a wooly black skirt and a to large white blouse. Her hair was tussled and she seemed to need glasses, though she wasn’t wearing any.

“Then can we maybe see a menu?”

“No.”

“A drink menu maybe? Something to get us started.”

“Your waitress will be right over.”

She shuffled away, leaving behind a pile of used napkins that’d been tucked in her apron.

“We aughta go.”

“Angel said this place was the best. She said ‘it’ll change your world view’.

“That might not be a good thing.”

“I’m not thinking I wanna eat anything prepared here.”

Doug flicked the napkins onto the floor with the handle end of his butter knife.

“The lamb is supposed to be out of this world.”

“I’m pretty sure I just saw a cricket.”

“Cricket is probably best case scenario.”

“Alright, we’ll go.”

The waitress arrived as they we standing. She looked at them and their jackets and their purses as if they’d all stabbed her in the heart. Each one of them.

“Are you leaving?” she asked.

“We’re just running a little late. We’re seeing a movie.”

“LIAR!”

The violence of the waitress reply set them all back. She’d not just screamed the word at them… she’d thrown it, like a cannon ball from her chest.

“You’re not seeing a movie. You’re liars. All of you. Filthy, stinking, s**theads.”

“OK, well I’m not usually the Yelp guy, but I’m gonna write this one up.”

“Get the hell out! Get out, liars.”

The waitress stomped her feet. Then pulled off her weird seashell braclet and flung it at Sara.

“Hey!”

“What the hell lady?”

“Alright, we’re going. Yall are crazy.”

They left, turning back they saw the hostess standing outside the restaurant… flipping them off.

“What was Angel smoking when she suggested this place?”

“That was insane.”

Let’s Let Everybody Play!

Right now the NBA is taking a break, giving 16 teams a couple of days to prepare for the Playoffs… but what about the other teams? What about the 14 squads that don’t get to play… they’re planning vacations instead of First Round rotations? Why not let EVERYBODY play!

Why not set up a 30 team bracket, with 5 Rounds of basketball. The First Round could be a Best of 3… perfect for some exciting upsets, Second and Third Rounds as Best of 5, Fourth and Final are your customary Best of 7.

Here’s what it’d look like with the 2018/19 end of season standings…

30 Teams (2 First Round Byes)

Bucks (1) get a Bye

Pistons (16) vs. Hornets (17) – A nice matchup of evenly matched opponents.

Celtics (9) vs. Mavs (24)

Jazz (8) vs. Wizards (25)

– – –

Nuggets (4) vs. Suns (29)

Clippers (12) vs. Lakers (20) – The League would LOVE to see LeBron play LA in LA… could The King win 2 of 3 all by himself?

Spurs (12) vs. Wolves (21)

Rockets (5) vs. Cavaliers (28)

– – –

Raptors (2) get a Bye

Nets (15) vs. Kings (18)

Thunder (10) vs. New Orleans (23)

Sixers (7) vs. Hawks (26)

– – –

Warriors (3) vs. Knicks (30) – This one would be interesting cause of all the Durant to New York stuff… but not cause of the basketball

Magic (14) vs. Heat (19)

Pacers (11) vs. Grizzlies (22)

Trailblazers (6) vs. Bulls (27)

 

The system needs to change… let’s let everyone into the Playoffs… let’s let EVERYONE PLAY!

So VERY Wrong

TheLongTalk made some PreSeason NBA Predictions (Scroll down and you’ll see the post) about the final standings for all 30 teams… and man, was TheLongTalk ever WRONG…

East Prediction / East Reality

Celtics / Bucks
Raptors / Raptors (1 of 5)
Pacers / Sixers
Bucks / Celtics
Sixers / Pacers
Wizards / Nets
Cavaliers / Magic
Hornets / Pistons

Knicks / Hornets
Heat / Heat (2 of 5)
Pistons / Wizards
Nets / Hawks
Magic / Bulls
Bulls / Cavaliers (I thought they’d pull together a “Screw You James” season and try and prove that they weren’t all a bunch of bums)
Hawks / Knicks

West Prediction / West Reality

Golden State / Golden State (3 of 5)
Rockets / Nuggets
Jazz / Portland
Thunder / Rockets
Pelicans / Jazz
Spurs / Thunder
Nuggets / Spurs
Grizzlies / Clippers

Portland / Kings
Lakers / Lakers (4 of 5)
Wolves / Wolves (5 of 5)
Mavs / Grizzlies
Suns / Pelicans
Clippers / Mavs
Kings / Suns

Looks like the predictions were a little better in the West… but only a little… though picking the Lakers to finish 10 feels like a pretty big deal… who else would’ve picked them at 10 after they grabbed LeBron… so that’s sort of a win… sorta…

The moral of the story is, DO NOT TRUST TheLongTalk to call anything in advance… or even at the moment… or anything at all.

The case could be made…

…that not only is James not the G.O.A.T. but that he isn’t even Top 5.

Kareem has more titles, Wilt has better stats, Bill’s resume is simply INSANE (11 titles in 13 years, 8 in a row), Mike is Mike, and Magic has a similar sorta All-Around-Basketball-Greatness / Position-less Point-Center style while being almost as big a brand with two more titles.

One could probably make the case for James being Top 10…

As long as there’s still room for Timmy, Kobe, and maybe even Shaq.

Dave, Dan, and Richard

Three Guys Go To Five Guys -

 

Dan: Have you guys been here before?

Dave: I think, one time with Cathy.

Richard: I hate this place.

Dan: What? Why?

Richard: Burgers are sloppy and cost too much.

Dan: You’re an idiot.

Dave: Whoa! That’s a bit much.

Dan: Nope, it’s the perfect amount of much.

Richard: It’s a matter of opinion. How can I be wrong, when it’s a matter of opinion?

Dan: You wouldn’t think you could, but turns out you can.

Richard: You’re nuts.

Dan: Actually, the peanuts are free… just so you know.

Richard: Don’t make up for the high priced, crap burgers.

Dan: Go outside. Just go outside and sit and be quite and never talk again.

Dave: Wow… do the fries really cost that much.

Richard: Yep.

Dan: But they’re good and there are a ton of them.

Richard: BOO. Boo on Dan for picking this place. Boo!

Dave: I’m gonna get bacon on my burger. Do you think I can get bacon on it?

Richard: What do you mean, can you? Of course you can.

Dave: You don’t think it’d be too much?

Richard: What does it matter what I think?

Dan: That’s what I’ve been saying.

Richard: If you want bacon, get bacon.

Dave: I’m gonna. I’m getting the bacon.

Richard: Fantastic, you’re living the dream man. Living the dream.

Don’t ever

He didn’t know what came next, but probably neither did she.

“Should I get my stuff?” he asked.

“You don’t have to tonight.”

She set the tape down on the table, slid it over to him.

He’d made it for her, so he slid it back.

“You should have it.” she said.

She didn’t want it was what she meant.

“It’s got Blues Traveler on it. I know you love Blues Traveler.”

“I don’t.”

“What?”

She’d told him so many things, seems some weren’t true. He wondered which.

“I don’t.”

“Never?”

“No.”

He took the mix tape, put it in his pocket.

She thanked him, but wasn’t specific about what or why.

Then she showed him the door.

“I’ll miss you.” she said.

“Only cause you’re throwing me out.”

She shut the door and he heard her lock it.

He looked at his hands, didn’t know what to do with himself.

Decided on hitting the bar.

“Don’t ever love anyone.” he said to the cat, licking itself on the decretive table beside the elevators.

The cat didn’t seem to notice.