10 Random Movie Reviews, brought to you by Insomnia 2

“Batman The Mask of the Phantasm is by far the best Batman movie ever made. Christian Bale can’t hold a candle to Kevin Conroy.”

“Multiplicity proves, once and for all, that the more Michael Keaton you can jam into a movie, the better that movie gets.”

“The only things I remember about Doc Hollywood are; the plot of Cars before there was Cars, Michael J. Fox, and side boob.”

“If you remove the scenes where Conan silently rides his horse while¬†nothing in particular¬†happens, then you could cut the run time of Conan the Barbarian to something around 12 minutes.”

“Batteries Not Included is simply the best movie about alien machines repairing old New York City brownstones that I can think of at 1:28 in the morning.”

“All of Jan Claude Van Damme’s movies are pretty much the same movie and all of them have a scene in them that, where you to watch the movie with your mother, would embarrass the hell out of you.”

“Ace Ventura will forever remind me of a sleepover from my early high school days.”

“After a viewing of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen a man with a cockatiel on his shoulder glided up alongside me and my group of friends. The man said nothing, he did nothing, he simply stood there with a big white bird on his shoulder… oddly close to our group… it was easily the best part of the evening.”

“People in the theater cheered at the beginning of Star Wars The Phantom Menace… by the end my friend had fallen asleep.”

“I’ve probably seen Dirty Dancing more times then I’ve seen Die Hard.”

2 thoughts on “10 Random Movie Reviews, brought to you by Insomnia

  1. Reply 12 Sep 27, 2017 2:17 pm

    1. Multiplicity is great.

    2. Van Damme’s best movie is Bloodsport. He was in Bloodsport, right?

    3. You went to a sleepover in your high school days? Are you sure about this?

    4. You have friends to go to the movies with?

    5. I have never seen Dirty Dancing, and I am embarrassed for you about this.

    6. Insomnia is often misunderstood, and overused as a self diagnosis. I doubt you have insomnia. And if you do, go to support groups and pretend to have cancer, or start a club where you fight other people and cause general mayhem. My understanding is that is the cure to insomnia.

  2. Reply TheLongTalk Sep 27, 2017 2:27 pm

    1. Van Damme is in Bloodsport… we was also, almost, the Predator in Predator… but he isn’t.

    2. Now that I think of it, it was probably middle school. The cast of characters doesn’t match high school.

    3. You should see Dirty Dancing, it’s good.

    4. Remember Sammy Jenkins.

    5. Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes is the wrong Charleston Heston movie to remake. Burton should’ve remade Omega Man… but then Will Smith remade Omega Man… and it was better then Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes… which was garbage.

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