More terrible NBA ideas

Keep the bad think thinking…

 • Players should be encouraged to gamble heavily on the outcome of their own games
• Inflatable bounce castles at midcourt
• A “Hit This & Your Team Wins Instantly” half court shot for the home team at the start of each game
• Ask fans to chip in to cover payroll… pass a hat after the third quarter
• Bears roaming the sidelines

Bad NBA changes

Some big bad NBA ideas…

• Make the ball square, see how the players respond

• Make the court a circle, same

• Give every team 15 extra timeouts and see if they use em, just cause they have em

• Between quarters, all players must eat a five pound cheeseburger… they cannot re-enter the game until they’ve finished

• James Dolan is given control over every team that is not the Knicks, Lakers, or Celtics

• One team gets to have seven players

• The players must wear full length pants

Goose…

Sometimes a goose is a goose… but sometimes a goose is a swan and you just thought you saw a goose.

It’s OK, on those occasions, to say, ‘Hey, I thought I saw a goose, but it turns out it was just a swan.”

There’s no harm in that…

Temple Post

“You can’t take pictures here sir.”

“It’s OK.”

“It’s not OK. You can’t take pictures here, sir.”

The man looked at the monk.

“Whatever.”

He took the picture.

He instantly died.

The monk put his body on the pile.

The lady in the plaid skirt took her phone out of her tiny purse.

“Excuse me miss, you can’t take pictures here.”

They spoke as one…

He found the child where he thought she’d be.

“Hello.” she said.

“You have to stop.”

She smiled, let out a puff.

“Why?’

“They can’t breath. They’re not made for this.”

“They’re fine. I’m taking care of them. All of them.”

She couldn’t have been older then eleven. She was wearing a boys suit and shiny pink tap shoes.

“They’ll die. They can’t do this. It’s not them.”

“They’re safer then they’ve ever been… ever. They’re one now.”

“They can’t be them and be one.”

She smiled again. Stood.

“You need to go.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“I won’t let them go back to the way it was… the mess, the sick, the chaos. It was terrible. They hated it. They’re happy now.”

“This is fake, this is wrong. This cannot last.”

“They finally speak as one. They act as one.”

“At your behest.”

“If not me, then no one.”

“Better no one.”

She laughed. It was a cruel laugh. Wrong for a child.

“They’re fine.”

“They’re dying.”